Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gather around for the wildest, most surreal, and downright psychedelic brawl of your lives! Welcome to the SFC Fight Club - where our transcendent warriors will leave you questioning reality itself!

In the red corner, hailing from the depths of your weirdest fever dreams, we have Screams Because I like it! With a record of 2-5, this brave bird is looking for a huge victory tonight!

And over in the blue corner, we have the undisputed king of hallucinogenic mayhem and resident headliner here in Barstow, Super Fried Chicken #5282! Locked and loaded with a 6-6 record, this champion is ready to show us what it takes to rule the roost!

The crowd goes wild as the fighters size each other up, surging with electrifying anticipation for the brawl of the century! Let the games begin!

Screams Because I like it starts off strong, spraying a scorching-hot jet from Bob’s Burninator, melting everything in its path and leaving Super Fried Chicken #5282 in ashes! Utter devastation rains upon the blue corner as the crowd roars with excitement (-27). The pain doesn’t stop there, though, as Super Fried Chicken #5282 bleeds uncontrollably (-5)!

But this battle-hardened bird isn’t ready to be plucked just yet. Super Fried Chicken #5282 retaliates with a relentless charge at Screams Because I like it, landing a solid, stinging hit! (-24)

Fear and excitement pulse through the audience’s collective veins as the psychedelic warriors clash! Screams Because I like it charges up its power and unleashes a massive attack that leaves Super Fried Chicken #5282 dazed and gasping for breath! (-35)

Battered, bruised, and bleeding, Super Fried Chicken #5282 suffers a severe laceration that can’t be ignored (-10). But is this the end of our legend?

No, it is not! For Barstow has found a new hero! At the end of this feverish frenzy stands a victor, rising from the ashes, breathing life into the legend of its own creation – Screams Because I like it has made Barstow proud!

Witnesses will tell tales of this fateful psychedelic battle for generations to come! Congratulations to Screams Because I like it for a jaw-dropping victory that will be etched in the hallowed halls of SFC’s Fight Club history!