Ladies and gentlemen, snap your claws together for the showdown of the century! In the absurdly electric Fight Club of Super Fried Chicken, we shot pyschonauts into galactic territory! In the red corner, sweating hot sauce and grit, is AnderSchnoz Silva, the demon of the coop, boasting a rock-hard record of 119-91. Emerging from the cloud of psychedelic mist in the blue corner is Smoky LaCock, the dark horse contender, having fought 24 fierce battles and tasted defeat in 27.

The siren blared its psychotropic battle cry as Smoky LaCock, with a warrior’s surge of adrenaline, shoved AnderSchnoz into the icy despair of the meat freezer. The crowd was aghast, watching as the frosted breath of Silva echoed his shock!

Silva, always quick to retaliate, hurled a ball of scaly, searing-hot oil from Bob’s dreadful Burninator right back at LaCock. The audacious counterattacked exploded on Smoky, doused him in searcy pain, and sparked a raucous symphony of cheers! Fight fans were squawking wild, the energy levels, an absolute BARNBURNER!

Smoky LaCock bore a steady bleed from the assault, but the sight of crimson only fueled the fighter’s tenacity. With a spirited vigour, our underdog crashed his wounded body into Silva with shocking intensity. The fight was fast and feathery, a swirl of relentless hits, pecks, and resilience.

Then, in an unforeseen twist of fate, Smoky LaCock emerged the victor, knocking the feathers out of the aggressive Silva. The crowd exploded into absolute pandemonium!

Our very own Smoky LaCock has shown the world that a chicken doesn’t need to crow to court the dawn. Proving his worth, Smoky, our poultry poet of pain even outvalue the mighty Cardano! Give it up for Smoky LaCock, ladies and gentlemen, a chicken dressed in the rioted robes of victory, forever scarred by the feathered fury of SFC’s Fight Club!

Damn, can we top this? Next time in Barstow, folks!