Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to another unforgettable night at SFC’s Fight Club! In this psychedelic colosseum, the air is thick with excitement, the dazzling lights are disorienting, and the uproarious crowd is witnessing an epic battle between two of the world’s wildest, most eccentric fighters!
In the red corner, with a record of 22 wins and 21 losses, weighing in at a heftier-than-your-average-chicken, the feathered phenom, the one and only, Smoky “The Incendiary” LaCock! And in the blue corner, with an impressive record of 14-6, the slippery shman of shmerica, the clandestine claughterer – Shmankey!
As the fight kicks off, Smoky LaCock, the trickster of the ring, slips Shmankey some DMT and convinces him that he can fly. Shmankey, under the influence of powerful psychedelic forces, gleefully jumps off a cliff at the edge of the arena; the unsuspecting fighter plummets to the ground with an earth-shaking thud! The crowd erupts in laughter and disbelief (-19).
Shmankey, dazed and bleeding, tries to recover (-5). In a desperate attempt to retaliate, he pulls out a secret weapon: Bob’s Burninator! Shmankey rains down a torrent of flaming oil upon Smoky LaCock, who scrambles in a frenzy, trying to avoid the inferno (-10). Smoky LaCock, now hurt and bleeding, wipes the blood from his beak and focuses on the task at hand (-5).
It’s at this point that Smoky LaCock, undeterred by his wounds, plots his final act of savagery. With cunning precision, he locks Shmankey inside a slow-cooking oven that has mysteriously appeared in the center of the arena and watches in twisted delight as Shmankey’s strength wanes and he nears his slow demise (-26). The smell of Roasted Shmankey fills the air as the blood pours from the defeated fighter’s large cut (-10).
It has been a wild, unforgettable, and downright bizarre battle… but tonight, the victor is none other than Smoky LaCock!
He raises his wings above his head in victory; the crowd, once again, goes wild as they cheer on the vicious victor. Shmankey’s battered body lies in the smoldering oven, a testament to Smoky LaCock’s ruthless approach in the SFC Fight Club. One thing is for certain: this is a night that will go down in history as one of the wildest, most psychedelic, chicken fight-filled tales ever told.
Smoky LaCock slips Shmankey some DMT and convinces him that he can fly. Shmankey gleefully jumps off a cliff and immediately plummets to the ground! (-19)
Shmankey is bleeding... (-5)
Shmankey rains down a torrent of flaming oil from Bob's Burninator, causing Smoky LaCock to scramble in a frenzy! (-10)
Smoky LaCock is bleeding... (-5)
Smoky LaCock locks Shmankey into a slow cooking oven and watches its slow demise! (-26)
Shmankey has a large cut that is pouring blood... (-10)
Smoky LaCock is victorious!
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