Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gather ‘round as we present to you the main event of the evening – SFC’s Fight Club! Tonight, we bring you a wild and mind-altering battle between two psychedelic-pumped fighters – in the red corner, with a record of 3-2, dripping with determination, it’s Wiggles Much! And in the blue corner, with an astounding record of 105-63, it’s the cluckin’ legend himself, Donnie Roc!

As the first round begins, Donnie Roc sets the tone with a Bird Brained Flail, unleashing a shockwave of sound so powerful it shatters windows in the nearby buildings! Wiggles Much is struck deep, blood oozing rapidly from a fresh cut (-15). But Wiggles isn’t down for the count just yet, oh no! They retaliate, smashing Donnie Roc in the temple with a Golden Tenderizer, sending the seasoned fighter reeling (-18).

As the fight continues, Donnie Roc leaps skyward and delivers a perfectly aimed kick to Wiggles Much, who’s already bleeding heavily (-3). Wiggles Much, feeling their energy depleting, musters enough strength for a truly bizarre move – they tickle the absolute shit out of Donnie Roc! Embarrassed beyond belief, Donnie leaves a trail of chicken pellets throughout the pit (-10).

Now, ladies and gentlemen, if you had not yet witnessed the bizarre, you’re in for a treat! Donnie Roc takes to the sky, soaring toward Wiggles Much like a majestic, feathered Superman – and when that blow connects, Wiggles Much’s ass is sent hurtling into the outer reaches of space (-7)!

With Wiggles Much sustaining severe lacerations and bleeding profusely (-25), Donnie Roc’s never-before-seen finishing move comes into play. Our very own Donnie Roc has single-handedly cooked Wiggles Much well done, like the psychedelic-chicken-champion he truly is!

Feathers, blood, and other unidentified flying objects may be strewn across our Fight Club arena tonight, but there can only be one true winner. Let it be known that Donnie Roc, the blue corner dominator, reigns supreme! Give it up for this clucken madman, folks! This is one night you won’t want to forget – or maybe you will, thanks to the mind-altering frenzy of SFC’s Fight Club!