Ladies and Gentlemen, Chickens of all shapes, sizes and psychedelics! Welcome to tonight’s heart-stopping, feather-raising flame-grilled bout!

In the red corner, weighing in at a record of 12-14, we have the feisty firebrand, the contender erupting with aerial aplomb – the legendary Peccos Bill! And in the blue corner, with a truly clucking impressive record of 63-46, our reigning champion – the indomitable, undefeated Dank!

Dank, quick to secure an early lead, fires Bob’s Burninator, blasting the air with a plume of scorching oil that ravages Peccos Bill (-9), leaving the feathered crowd on a sizzling high!

But Peccos Bill isn’t just another clucker on the line! He retaliates, blowing a cloud of luminous magic mushroom powder at Dank (-5), sending ripples through reality and making it melt like butter!

Dank rebounds with a swift and lethal kick (-15) that rocks Peccos Bill off balance, sending up a flurry of feathers. But Bill’s strut is not deterred as he lures Dank in with some delectably laced weed (-8). Instantaneously, Dank’s motivation takes flight, sent soaring on a high of intoxicants; a dank haze seems to encapsulate the arena.

Yet Dank, despite his motivational detour, is not down or out. Signalling for Bob’s Burninator, he turns the heat up, dousing Peccos Bill in blistering oil (-24). But Bill, unyielding and relentless, returns the heated favours, blasting Dank with a super-hot jet of oil (-10) from the Burninator in an unexpected twist, leaving our resolute champ singed and smoking.

The blue corner bleeds (-10), but this is not the end for Dank. In a move that alights the crowd with squawks of awe, Dank splits into a mesmerising whirl of smaller chickens (-25), each perfectly copying the original. They swoop down on Peccos Bill, overwhelming him from all sides; a triumphant dance of controlled chaos that leaves the arena in an exhilarating trance.

And that, folks, is it! Dank, against all odds, has persevered to cluck another day, bringing glory to the flock and securing his position as the undisputed king of the Anti-Flockers Club. Peccos Bill fought tooth and nail, delivering us a spectacular display of tenacity and resilience.

Let the record show that in this psychedelic fight club, the only consistent thing is the unexpected. The victor may be Dank, but every fowl in the audience is a winner today, having witnessed a fight that will go down in chicken fight lore as nothing short of unforgettable.